Zug Zug, back to work

Family, friends! I bring news from "l'empire du milieu" (empire of the middle). I didn't hurl! But man, did I have a good time in the shopping district with my co-worker Roger.

It was Monday, back to work. The madness inside the plant was the usual, tons of workers and not enough space. An interesting detail I've learned about the Chinese so far is that they have a different understanding of interruption in conversation and they dont frown upon touching or pushing people to go their way. Basically, they walk around areas and pass people almost identically to how they drive. And they sometimes drive by playing chicken with a tractor trailer. And you have to drive that way. Andy learned, if you drive US style you will get into either an accident or never make it to your destination. By Monday morning, I'm completely anesthetized to the fear of a head on collision.

Monday's workday passes quick, but not before we have a splendid lunch! The menu is as follows:

Jellyfish! (yeah, it's cooked). The taste was deffinitely "preserved". Pickled a bit, very salty. A great quick cold dish that many people adore in China. The consisentcy was... interesting. Sometimes, semi-hard like cartilige; sometimes soft and gooey like jello. Funny to think that I was eating the same kind of wierd marine animal that I used to hate getting stung by on the beaches of Ammagansett, Long Island as a kid. I used to poke them with a stick when they washed up. I always thought to myself how no one would ever eat such a thing.

"Super hot fat beef". Kid you not. That was the name (OUGH). This thing ROCKED. By far my favorite. Reminded me a lot of "Yukejon" (Korean dish, spelling way off). The thing was spicey beyond belief. Typical Szechuan style soup. No-one drinks the broth, so I dared the impossible and gulped some down. First gulp I think I hit all oils, not spicey at all. So I tempt a second one. Ate my whole bowl of rice in seconds...

Last but not least was this egg and pork soup. Well, not exactly soup. They put this type of powder in the broth to thicken it up. The stuff was fairly bland, but edible. The consistency did get to me after not too long. I didn't enjoy the dish all too much.

Following an epic lunch, we head back to the plant and finished off the work day around 6:30 after Roger helped me crack my laptop's security, and install world of warcraft. I'm supposed to show him an American server sometime this week. Between consuming food and drink, shopping working and sleeping, I don't have too much free time!

Roger takes me to the "walking street" again to get some shopping done. I've got my eyes peeled for some sweeeeeet noise canceling headphones. But it doesn't take long to find out that electronics, because of their taxing system come out as expensive if not more then in the U.S. Looks like I'll be ordering mine off Newegg.com when I get back to the states. We're in this underground shopping area with all these cool stores for figurines and funky womens clothing when lunch decides to rebel. My lower intestine pulses. Not good. Ooooo not good. I signal Roger and we begin an epic quest to find a potty. First stop is in the underground shopping area.

Chinese still use the stand up potty. You know, the squat one where you eject into a trough and flush. I'm sorry but I can't use them. I've always used the sitters. Come one, who doesn't love a 20 minute rest and relaxation with a mag in hand, only getting up to finish off when you realize your legs are numb? Why the hurry? Is it like they're dieing to shave off a couple pounds and get back to work a.s.a.p? I don't get it, and don't want to use it. Plus, there's no freaking toilet paper. Wooooonderful.

We quest on while I play mind over body with my sphincter. We find a Cinema, toilets on the third floor. Go go go. I make it in, only to realize it's the same deal, squatters. But not just any squatters. No paper, and the smell is out of control. I take one peer in, and it's OVER. BOUNCED.

We hit a huge department store and find a toilets... on the fourth freaking floor. I pop open the door. Squatter. What the F, Golf clap for Communism. So I say screw it. I'm about to explode. I rush to take off my belt and realize... no paper. I put the pants back on and find Roger who delivers with a set of napkins from the lunch restaurant. I rush back in, and go like I've never gone before. I don't want to detail it too much, but imagine aiming a small hole in a highly compressed can of beans, and trying to get the spray to stay inside a pan. Fun times! I even found a wet towelet from the restaurant at lunch in my pocket. GRAND SLAM. Life saver.

Oh shiii it's 8:05 AM here and I got to hit breakfast so I have some food in me. Driver's coming by at 8:30 for the pickup, at which point I'll take a bump.

Yo deh, take a bump deggg.